So maybe I wasn't so ready

Last week I decided that I was not ready to deal with this. I thought maybe I could, but I was wrong. I had a somewhat legitimate excuse in that I had a big exam today(which, by the way, went horribly, and I was not able to study as much as I wanted to because I had ear tubes put in and I was projectile vomiting for a day), and was hoping to buy some time while I find Tarshish. Unfortunately, just as there are no whales to swallow me whole, there is also no boat to escape on in the middle of Saskatchewan. (Perhaps I should try contacting the Last Saskatchewan Pirate!)

Well now the exam is over, and I am going to spend some time in prayer tomorrow morning. I am going to head over to the prayer room, that way I can't be distracted as easily and try to work through things. I am going to spend some time listening, trying to figure out what exactly God is telling me to do. Am I being sent or just told to love this group of people whose actions (perhaps the people themselves) I despise? I hope for neither, but I know that will not be the case.

I am also hoping that God will reveal some great new understanding of how His justice and mercy work. I don't want to love these people. I want them punished. I don't want to save the perverts I want to save the victims.

I posted the passage from Jonah, but to me this is different because they did not know they were doing wrong. These (insert profanity) must be aware that they are wrong, or they wouldn't have to do it so secretly.

People tell me that they must be hurting, if they are causing others to hurt as well. I don't think I buy that. I don't believe that these people are hurting, I think they are just being (insert profanity).

I try to look at them as creation, not as sinners. But to me they are like bacteria (creation) who become resistant to antibiotics (good), and as such are evil. Regardless of the presence/absence/quality/concentration of the antibiotic, they mutate and develop resistance. Once resistant, no amount of good can change them back.

"It's the sick who need a doctor." But these people are more then just sick. They should be sent to the coroner.

I don't think I have the vocabulary to describe how adamantly against this I am. But I really only have 2 choices. Follow God or walk away.