So I haven't blogged much the last week. That is because I haven't gotten anywhere. I am still a sitting duck. I went through this in August, was in contact with a few organizations and applied to volunteer then for, whatever reason, communication stopped, no one replied to my emails. I kind of gave up, assuming that God was saying no. I prayed about it, and as with everything else the last few months, have gotten no answers. Not a "yes", "no", "wait", nothing. I didn't want to keep pushing it if it was a no.
But there has to be more. I believe that our passions and deep desires of our hearts are from God. If it was no, then why is God weighing me down with this. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe it is not from God. If it was, then wouldn't he provide an outlet, some way that I could act on this desire.
Maybe I should stop wasting my time, and God's, if this is not what he wants for me. But I don't want to give up. I don't want to forget about it, I can't. But how many times have a I tried and gotten no where?
What about persistence? How do we know when to keep pushing and when to step away. I don't want to give up, so I won't, at least not yet. I have applied to volunteer overseas, and am looking into an organization within Saskatoon that deals with sexual exploitation of children. But I don't want to annoy God into giving me what I want.
Excuse me, I need to go scream into my pillow.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
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at 9:19 PM
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2 comments:
I finally looked at your site for the first time since we left home Oct 11th. I like the new look because like so many people during the "hippie" era you seem to be on a journey in search of something very profound. It may take a while but with His help you will find your way. You are in my prayers. Aunt Sharon
just a thought, but if i were looking for a volunteer, and wanted to know if they were really interested in helping out my organization, i'd be drawn more the ones that applied to work with me, and then phoned as a follow-up to see if i'd seen their application yet. a follow-up phone call is never a bad thing, then at least you'll know if they've seen the application yet or not. it could also be a bit of a way of letting them know you're serious about working with them. like i said, just a thought.
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