CAN'T KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE

So here is more of why I am not a responsible care taker of children.

I often laugh at things they do or say, not because they are funny, in fact most of the time they are not appropriate, but because that is just my response when I am caught of guard. And sometimes they are funny because I have no class.

So we are sitting at lunch and this one little guy lets the biggest, funniest fart rip ever. I considered checking his pants. It was absolutely hilarious. All the kids were laughing, but we are supposed to teach them good manners. As the teacher I am supposed to a) not laugh, b) quiet down all the kids and c) teach the boy that flatulence is not welcome at the table. I didn't even make it past the first step. And all the kids noticed. I was tearing up trying to stop myself from laughing while the other teacher had control the situation all by herself.

On a similar note, another little guy is just potty training. Apparently going #2 is very awkward and uncomfortable for them on the potty so it is common for kids to try and hold it in. This, as you can imagine, can cause some serious cramps. This poor boy hadn't gone for days I guess, and was complaining of a sore tummy. We had put him in a pull up (side note: pull ups are the stupidest things in the world, just buy regular diapers for crying out loud) because we went to MacDonalds and it is too hard to deal with partially potty trained kids in a restaurant. We noticed him walking funny on the way home and guessed what had happened. I was the lucky one who got to changed the poor guy. He looked so embarrassed and worried about it. I brought him into the bathroom to change him. I partly opened just one side of the pull up to check the deposit and it spilled out. He was overflowing with excrement. Down his leg and on his new Spiderman underpants. I felt so bad for him, he was so traumatized by the situation. It didn't help that one of the other kids was pointing out that there was poo on his wiener and pants and on the floor. I, not knowing what to do, and finding it hilarious that I am the lucky one who gets to clean this up, chuckle as I am trying to assure this child it is okay and get the other to stop pointing out what a mess this is. I don't think I was very reassuring.

Sometimes I just don't know what to say. I think there are times when there is nothing you can say. One 5 year old told me as I was monitoring the bathroom,
"Sometimes when I poop my eyes cry."
How do you respond.

Lastly we will leave the bathroom to the art room. Everyone had to draw a picture for a kid who was leaving at the end of the month. One boy decided to draw a picture of people. I asked what he was drawing for the sake of conversation and without skipping a beat he told me,
"It's a person, with a head and legs, a belly button and boobies."
"And what?"
"A belly button adn boobies."
Sorry, I couldn't hear you the other kids are being to loud. What was the last thing you said?"
"BOOBIES!"
I tried to hide a little chuckle, I was shocked that this kid knew what boobies were. He's a preschooler for crying out loud.
"Uh, that's not a word for daycare. I don't want to hear it again."
"Well why did you make me say it three times."
Smartass