BETTER THAN I THOUGHT

I put an ad in the Saskatoon newspaper on Saturday and Monday for my condo and an ad on kijiji. People kept telling me that the market had really slowed down in Saskatoon and that it was very unlikely that it would sell in two weeks. Some even said that it was unlikely that anybody would even call until about July or August when the students start coming into the city.

Well fooey on them. The day I put the ad in the newspaper I got a call from a gentleman who is interested in it. And within a a couple of hours of putting the ad on kijiji today someone was over checking the place out and seemed very interested in it. And he had even suggested the same possession date as I had been thinking. Sweet!

The deal is still not done yet, so keep praying! But I do have a good feeling about this. I believe that God wants me to go to ND and I trusted that he would make it work. I never imagined it would be working out this well.

There are a couple of things that are making things difficult. First of all I am leaving for the weekend so I won't be around. Also the fact that my parents need to do most of the dealing and they are in another province. That's all good though, God will make it work.

ON SECOND THOUGHT...

I may not be going to ND any more. Grrrr! I wish I was more decisive, or God was clearer, or that I was able to discern his will. I still really want to go to ND, I don't feel like there is anything left in Saskatoon, and it would get me away from a certain awkward situation I have been dealing with for the last year.

I thought everything was all settled, but then my parents called said they would pay me some money to sell the condo. Well that through me for a loop, even though I don't want to stay in Saskatoon, am in debt and need all the money I can get right now. There is still the problem of me not having a job. So I have been praying for discernment for a while, and I still have until June 8th before I have to leave for ND.

I was talking to my mentor about this whole situation and she asked if both could be done. Of course by worldly standards that is damn near impossible for me to get everything together and sell the condo in two weeks. But I am not a child of this world anymore! So I am praying big. Praying that in the next two weeks the condo will sell so that I can get the extra money and go to ND. That would be so flippin' sweet!

So please pray with me, it would be much appreciated :)

HERE WE GO

The last few days I have been struggling with whether I should sit, wait and trust that God is working and will provide for me, or if I should hitch up my britches and do whatever it takes to make life work.

I have decided to just submit to God, and allow Him to do his thing, leaving me out of the loop until the last minute. That is uncomfortable for me, mainly for financial reasons. I have student loans that need to be paid off.

So here is the plan as far as I know it.

June 9-August 9th I will be in Grand Forks doing a linguistic and cross-cultural worker program. It is offered through Wycliffe, and intended to teach people intending on working in another country how to learn/speak a foreign language as well as integrating into a new culture.
I think this is where God wants me to go. I prayed that I would get some sense of direction about life on May 15th, and that is the day my papers came in so I can cross the border. Then that night I prayed that God would affirm this, I prayed that by noon the next day I would get some sort of job related affirmation. Either a no from the interview that I had or something would come up from the millions of resumes I sent out, something like that. The next morning I got an email from my part time job during school, I had quite before I left for camp, but they were wondering if I could come back to work. That would take me just until the Friday before I leave for ND. Sweet!

So until I head to ND I will be working part time, and just having some fun. I have been working very hard, taking more than a full course load the last couple of years and working at least 2 jobs during the summer. So this is my time to have fun, be with friends and relax.

After that I have no idea what will happen. I have some more fun with friends time planned for the middle of August and that is about it. After that it is all wide open.

VINTAGE CHANTAL

I thought I would take a step away from all this frustration and tell a typical Chantal story.

At MarkWest last week we learned this new type of prayer called "centering prayer." If I understood correctly it is essentially trying to block out any thought or distraction and just think about God. For a scatterbrain like me it is very difficult. Sitting in a group of people completely still and silent trying to be focused on one thing does not work for me. They say to think of distracting thoughts as little boats that just float on by, well that always makes me think of Steamboat Willy,

Anyway, during one of the sessions I decided to watch my friend's kid, an adorable 4 year old boy, so that he could attend. No big deal for me, I used to work in a daycare. During the half hour I was watching him he had to go pee. Again no big deal, and at 4 years old they can pretty much do it all themselves.

We were at camp, and in the main building there was your typical Mens and Ladies rooms. I felt he was a little to old to go to the ladies room, since the showers are in there also, so that left the mens washroom. For me it would be no big deal to take him into the mens bathroom, even if there was other men in there. As the nurses saying goes, "I have seen more penises than a prostitute." Not entirely true for me, but I have worked in a hospital and nursing home doing personal care and I have taken anatomy and physiology courses and my studying of clinical biology has included detailed study of STD's. So I could walk in and be virtually unphased. However, I know that this is not normal, and while it may not bother me, it would likely bother a man in the washroom.

I knocked on the door and then sent the little guy inside to see if anyone was in there. While the little guy could probably take a whiz all by himself, as a microbiologist I was deeply concerned about hand washing. He was not tall enough to reach the soap and paper towel. There was nobody in there so I decided that I would stand in the doorway, with the door open so that I could hear him call if he needed help.

Meanwhile, several people walked by this high traffic hallway, and I felt the need to make them aware that I was not a pervert or a peeping tom, but that I was looking after a child. Well the little guy finished the job and I got several very strange looks from people, and we just went back outside to play before supper.

At supper someone came up to me and said,
"So you are not creepy?"

I just figured that he had been told by one of the people that had seen me. Then a few more people came up to me referencing to that moment. After about seven or eight people approached me I noticed a pattern. All these people had been in the prayer meeting, I then asked how word had gotten around to them so quickly. Turns out the prayer room was right next to the bathroom and my constant insisting that I was not a pervert had been the distracting thoughts that they were trying to allow float by. Ooops!

SO NOW WHAT

I'm thinking this supposed inability to confirm a final decision on my application maybe a waiting list or something. Apparently they are sending something in the mail that I need to confirm. I can't handle anymore waiting so I think I am going to treat this as a no and move on with life. Not sure where to move to though. I have applied to some real full time jobs in Calgary and Winnipeg. I am still confused about what to do about the women's shelter in Calgary.

While confirmation regarding medical school didn't come I am praying about the summer linguistics/cross-cultural program. I had asked God for any piece of direction or guidance by May 15th, I had flippantly thrown out there that getting the papers that I needed to go to the states would come in today, but it was not a real serious prayer as I was more focused on the medical school issue. Well, the papers did come, I don't like jumping to conclusions and saying that something is from God without knowing for sure, but this a pretty significant coincidence. The problem is money, as it always seems to be, but that can be dealt with I think. A little more student loan could be thrown out, not perfect, but at this point I don't know what to think anymore.

I am going to get a good nights rest tonight, which somehow always helps when trying to make sense of things. I didn't sleep much last night, I was so excited and anxious to see how God was going to direct me and what I was going to be doing come September I couldn't sleep. Hmmm... sure glad I wasted all that emotional energy.

Despite being pissed off right now, I will always believe in God, I will always praise him, and always try to trust him. He knows the larger scheme of things. One thing I am trying really hard not to do is come up with all the possible reasons why things are working out like this, that just tends to create expectations, and well I don't feel having my hopes smashed again.