SO NOW WHAT

I'm thinking this supposed inability to confirm a final decision on my application maybe a waiting list or something. Apparently they are sending something in the mail that I need to confirm. I can't handle anymore waiting so I think I am going to treat this as a no and move on with life. Not sure where to move to though. I have applied to some real full time jobs in Calgary and Winnipeg. I am still confused about what to do about the women's shelter in Calgary.

While confirmation regarding medical school didn't come I am praying about the summer linguistics/cross-cultural program. I had asked God for any piece of direction or guidance by May 15th, I had flippantly thrown out there that getting the papers that I needed to go to the states would come in today, but it was not a real serious prayer as I was more focused on the medical school issue. Well, the papers did come, I don't like jumping to conclusions and saying that something is from God without knowing for sure, but this a pretty significant coincidence. The problem is money, as it always seems to be, but that can be dealt with I think. A little more student loan could be thrown out, not perfect, but at this point I don't know what to think anymore.

I am going to get a good nights rest tonight, which somehow always helps when trying to make sense of things. I didn't sleep much last night, I was so excited and anxious to see how God was going to direct me and what I was going to be doing come September I couldn't sleep. Hmmm... sure glad I wasted all that emotional energy.

Despite being pissed off right now, I will always believe in God, I will always praise him, and always try to trust him. He knows the larger scheme of things. One thing I am trying really hard not to do is come up with all the possible reasons why things are working out like this, that just tends to create expectations, and well I don't feel having my hopes smashed again.