DON'T YA JUST LOVE PUIPPIES!

The other day I was doing my rounds for Stats Canada, delivering census forms, and
I came to this house that had a bunch of dogs. There was this one little guy that was brand new, just a little fluff ball running around. So I picked it up and was playing around with it. Well this little guy was pretty excited and did not have much control over his bladder. I ended up wearing some of his urine.

NOT A FAN OF THE NIGHT SHIFT

Last night at work this guy came in to buy a few things. I rang through all his stuff and then he kinda whispered that he wanted something else too. He had a really raspy voice so I didn't quite catch what he said, so he repeated it. I didn't think I heard him right because I had no idea what he was talking about. So I asked him again.
"A pack of New York Rubbers" he said. I just kinda looked at him very confused. I was totally clueless. So he told me what they actually were, I'll let you guess, and I could feel my face turn bright red.
"Uh, mmm, uh... right over here." I choked out. They were behind the customer service desk, so I had to let him back there. He picked some up and then paid for them. Then he called down one of the aisles, "Com'on Smiley", and a girl in rather interesting attire followed him out.

A little later that night, another gentleman came in looking for the same product. So I took him behind the customer service desk, hoping he would just pick up a pack so I could get this over with. But no. He has the boldness to ask what kind I thought were the best, and what sizes they come in. As if I know. He spent like ten minutes looking at all the different kinds. I was very uncomfortable.
I can't wait till my next night shift.

KIDS, ASK AN ADULT FOR HELP

This happened a couple of years ago. Kim you might remember this, you were there.

I was at Bible college, and there was a big conference put on for high school kids, only a couple thousand or so. One of the things there was a prayer room, and I was helping put it together. I was asked to go and cut some pamphlets, so I did. I went to the library to use those big things where you pull down the lever to cut through big stack of paper. It should have been so much easier than cutting with scissors. It started out good, I got through most of the stacks, so I kept up the pace. I grabbed the next stack put it on the table and pulled down the lever. I picked up what was now two stacks of paper too put them aside when I received an unexpected blow to the mouth. I guess I hadn't pushed the spring loaded lever all the way to the stop position, so it flew up and got me right in the chops. And you know that, when something like that happens and there are other people around, somebody must have seen it. Not to mention the fat lip I got from the incident.

I'M SO AMAZING!

I was working (at IGA), and was going on my lunch break, so I grabbed this pizza calzone thing to eat. I go to the staff room, heat it up and start stuffing my face. Well, if you know me, you know how skilled I am. A big blob of sauce dropped on my shirt, a white shirt I might add, and I'm sure you can guess where it landed (I won't say because I'm to shy to write such words). I tried washing it off, but it was there to stay. I still had about 4 hours left on my shift, and as a cashier, you run into a lot of people. I couldn't hide it so I just went back to work. The rest of the night very few customers actually looked me in the face. I don't blame them, I wouldn't be able to look somebody in the face either without laughing. Oh well, you win some, you lose some. I just feel like I do alot more losing than winning.

ON A RELATED TOPIC

I just started working at IGA for the summer and my shift had just finished. My managar, who is about the same age as me, doesn't have a car. He lives near me so I offered to drive him home, which in and of itself was little awkward. Now, it was midnight thirty, the end of a 5 hour shift. This doesn't sound too bad, but I had already worked 8 hours at my other job, so I was tired and a little out of it.
So the manager, his name is Sean eh, was giving me directions to his appartment, and he tells me to turn left. Being as brilliant as I am, I turned right.
"This is great," I thought, "He's gonna think I'm an idiot," which he had every right to think.
No worries though, I got back on the right track. Then we hit this kinda funny residential intersection that had a strange median, which I was supposed to turn at. I turned in the correct direction this time, but on the wrong side of the median. He had to inform me to go around, otherwise I would have been in the oncomng traffic lane. It's not like it mattered there was no other traffic around anyway. So I finally get to his place and drop him off then I drive home. When I got home I went into the bathroom to wash my face before bed and I notice there is a huge boogie hang in my nose. There is no way Sean didn't see it, and who knows how long it had been there. Maybe some of the customers saw it.
I'm sure the manager thinks he hired a real winner!